(FROM LINTZOAIN TO BURLADA )

Going through my notes from our Camino, I’ve noticed there were certain days that were packed with so many amazing sights, sounds and people that one single, measly post simply cannot contain it all!!

This wasn’t one of them.

The main source of our troubles on this day were the downward sloping trails consisting of Sharpened Shale rocks jutting upwards thirsting for Pilgrim blood that I had mentioned before. And now, these Rocky Knives of Doom were slick and glistening from last night’s storm, and they were thirsting for us to stumble just a little bit so they could laugh at our pain. Well, those were Stacy’s main source of exhaustion. Mine was Klaus.

Klaus latched on to us at the top of the day when we were asking around about Ibuprofen. In Spain, painkillers only come in small doses, so travelers with extra amounts of ‘The Good Stuff” were in high demand up and down the pain-causing-Camino. In the process of asking any smiling face we saw if they were drug dealers, we met Klaus. Klaus was 72 and had walked the Camino several times. He had visited or lived in 60 countries while working for charity organizations, helping people to learn how to grow food for themselves. So in short, Klaus was a capable and knowledgeable fellow who had lots to share about his long eventful life.

And I wanted to get the hell away from him as soon as possible.

Klaus liked to talk, and in general, I like to listen. But after a while I found that focusing on all the stuff Klaus was talking about was taking away from my Camino. Granted, mostly I wanted to just bliss out on all the nature bursting with life around me. The previous night of rolling thunder and the dreams it gave had put me in a place of active seeing, active listening, active feeling. Add to that the relief from First World Sensory Overload that walking through quiet villages gives one, and suddenly there was room in my psyche for things like peace of mind and God and stuff, and I was in the mood for some ‘Paul on the road to Rome’ action. Billy Batson and the Shazam! The Blues Brothers at James Brown’s church!

But instead I got ole Klaus talking about buying sorghum in Iceland for twenty minutes and I can’t get a Spiritual thought in edgewise.

“Will you please shut the hell up so I can focus on being a better person!?”

I didn’t say that, of course. That would be wrong. Wrong speech, to be precise. And when you flip that Dharma coin, you come up with one of the Eightfold Noble Path, Right Speech.

A lot of what the Buddha taught about Right Speech is pretty obvious, like don’t lie. But Buddha, being the Karmaic nitpicker he was, takes the time to split all the hairs on the Universe’s Coiffured Head in the hope of leaving your Bad Karma no wiggle room to grow into a ponytail of Suffering.

That analogy was a little extreme. But unirregardless…

The four main precepts of Right Speech are:

1. Abstaining from False Speech
2. Abstaining from Slanderous speech
3. Abstaining from harsh speech
4. Abstaining from idle chatter.

To put it in the vernacular, don’t lie, don’t say mean stuff even if it’s true, don’t say stuff in a Shitty way, and don’t stand around and bullshit all day.

Another guide to Talkin’ Righteous are these five precepts of Right Speech, oft paraphrased and originating from the earliest teachings of the Buddha. Right Speech is….

“It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.

Is it True, Helpful and Kind. YouTube is chock full of videos from All the Religions, Influencers, life coaches, spiritual guides, Gurus and former lead-singers-who-are-now-sober who all espouse on THK as the way to go! It’s a big deal!

So, just saying “shut up and go away” isn’t gonna cut it. Spiritually, that is. It would be funny, in an Sam Kinison/Howard Stern kind of way. But easy. And life is too short for easy, cheap laughs.

I lied. Life is never too short for a cheap laugh. You have to stop and smell the Mel Brooks every now and then.

But cheap laughs are often cruel laughs. It’s a shame how often being funny is the same as being mean. A life in comedy is the opposite of a life in diplomacy. Also while listening to Klaus, I can remember others shirking my Mother’s company because she was difficult to be around, and I sure didn’t want to make anyone else feel that way, especially an amiable guy like Klaus. And, of course, I have read all the myths about God wandering around on Earth disguised as a mortal, testing the hospitality of the faithful! This could be a trick! Klaus could be Buddha! He’s not, because Buddha’s more gone that gone. But still, Zeus might be real! If Beyonce is real, anything is possible.

The answer to my annoyance was as easy as making an excuse to take a left when Klaus when went right, no trouble at all. No yelling, no anxiety. And we saw Klaus a couple times down the road, and all was cool and groovy. But the hypocritical annoyance I felt on The Camino Santiago hung with me, and I let the feeling hang out and hover so I could figure out where it was coming from.

Amidst it all, like a Bat signal in the night, came the words of the Boy Scout Law.

A Scout Is:
Trustworthy.
Loyal
Helpful
Friendly
Courteous
Kind
Obediant
Cheerful
Thrifty
Brave
Clean
and Reverent.

Great list of stuff to be, right? All these ideas are the basic building blocks of being a Kick Ass Human that we find in all the good Oaths, Laws, Promises and Sacred Cleavings throughout History. With one exception.

Cheerful.

What the hell? Cheerful!? Whaddya mean ‘Cheerful’? I made fun of that one when I was a young Scout. You see, you got Big Huge Bravery! You got Lovely Loyal! Righteously Reverent! and then goofy, dumb, old, boring Cheerful plodding around like a clown in a children’s cancer ward. But I realized that it may be the most important one. Being brave and loyal and righteous and clean is hard work, very hard. Often times nigh impossible. And if you are walking around being a jerk and saying angry stuff all time, it makes it even harder. Every aspect of our lives are made better by the attempt to be Cheerful, not just acquiescent to troubles, but to smile at them, and to share that smile with others.

Here’s how the Boy Scouts themselves define the Law of Cheerful:

CHEERFUL. Look for the bright side of life. Cheerfully do tasks that come your way. Try to help others be happy.

Frankly, I’d rather just be brave. Is that okay? I’ll charge the enemy and fight the monster, but trying to make all the people I meet be happy sounds bloody exhausting. Have you met the people? I have. They liked Pauly Shore and invented bell bottomed corduroy jeans.

For us Buddhists, the key to being a Cheerful Boy Scout is something called Interbeing, a concept made popular by Thich Naht Hanh which teaches that everything exists in relationship to each other. I am only John because Klaus is Klaus. If Klaus was not Klaus, then I would not be John. Moreover, there is a lot of stuff I have, that Klaus has too. When the differences are weighed with what is shared, the scale clunks hard over to Interbeing; the only things that separate us are delusions . . .

….and the fact Klaus smells like sauerkraut and keeps telling me about the first time he saw a Pontiac Firebird in Dusseldorff which he loved even more than the Masseratti. And I hate cars: A lot.

I am not a good Buddhist, and I have not been a good person. But I was with Klaus that day as I walked the Camino, and so on that day, Klaus was my Camino. Soon, Stacy will get so exhausted that she will call a cab to our next albergue, where I will sit and think about Klaus, and why I did not have good will towards him without effort. I’m still thinking about it right now as I write this post. If I had been a better person, would I be nicer? Or if I was nicer would I be a better person? Buddha smiles and points to the place before that choice existed.

These posts about the Camino aren’t about my answer to the problems of the Soul, The Universe and God. It’s about the questions. Tomorrow Stacy and I have to go to Pamplona and walk with a shitload more Klauses, and those poor bastards have to walk with me. I will try to be Cheerful while wishing I didn’t have to try.

Buen Camino.