I found this amazing piece years ago but the original post seems to be gone. So, in order that it not be lost to the ages, I share it here.

The Dating of James   

by David Hackett

Scholars hold a variety of opinions on the dating of James.  He is most often believed to be the brother of our Lord. If so, it is most likely that he is the younger brother of Jesus, because if we were to hold that he was the older brother of Jesus, this would have obvious ramifications on the doctrine of the virgin birth. Having such an older sibling as a role model is a strong benefit in the dating of James, since Jesus would have taught James everything he knew about dating.

Since his writings reveal a caring, observant, peace loving, and deeply spiritual man, most authorities believe that James would have been an appealing date for any number of women in his region of the Eastern Mediterranean seeking these qualities. But given his spirituality and cultural context, it is more likely that he dated only occasionally, and then probably only with Jewish women from his local area.

Probably the most attractive aspects of James that might influence his dating habits are that he refers to himself as a servant, that he demonstrates endurance in relationships, and that he speaks of giving generously and ungrudgingly. He prefers actions to mere statements and so it can be assumed he would creatively express devotion to his dates in concrete and practical ways. He acknowledges that he makes mistakes (“All of us make many mistakes,” James 3.2). He advocates being slow to anger. All of these factors show a familiarity with human relationships more commonly found in those with a well-developed dating capacity.

James writes, “blessed is anyone who endures temptation.” (James 1:12) This is perhaps the most overt reference to and personally revealing insight into James’ dating.  He says, “one is tempted by one’s own desire, being lured and enticed by it.” This is evidence of his active and inner-conflicted dating life. Additionally, James often refers to others in terms that invite intimacy, such as his frequent use of the term, “my beloved.” Perhaps men of our day will discover in James a man cut from their same cloth, and find new affinity for biblical personages through a review of the dating of James.

Other scholars of course note the use in chapter 2 and other chapters of the phrase, “my brothers and sisters.” Such continual phraseology does not lend credibility to a theory of a dating James. He seems to disparage gold rings and fine clothes, which is a persuasive argument that perhaps James does not understand and relate well to women after all.

On the contrary, however, the extensive discussion in his writings about arguments among friends, about conflicts and disputes, and about communication difficulties (for instance he mentions “you do not have, because you do not ask”) all are all the more reason to conclude that James maintained a series of friendships and in fact, relationships with women and therefore most certainly an active dating life. He perhaps pioneered a theory that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Given all of this data, we can confidently assume that James, over his active lifetime, probably completed somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 dates. Schultz argues for a larger number, nearer to 550 [Schultz, Modern Dating in James, page 250), while Steinsteffler offers  a more conservative figure, 250 (Steinsteffler, The Proclivities of James, page 65).

David Hackett, hackett@pff.net, http://www.pff.net (This link redirects to a different site, but it is where I originally found it years ago.)